Tuesday 28 October 2008

Public Warned Not to Give Money to Iceland

People living in England’s coastal resort towns were alarmed today to find themselves being accosted for money by the small North Atlantic nation of Iceland.

After its central bank raised the domestic interest rate to 18% as a condition of its recent $2bn loan from the International Monetary Fund, the financially-embarrassed country’s prime minister Geir Haarde said it needed to raise another $4bn to remain solvent.

Early morning walkers taking the bracing air in Skegness were surprised to be accosted by Iceland, looking dishevelled and dragging a whale on a string, begging for a pound which it claimed it needed for bus fare.

Later, the itinerant lava outcrop turned up in Great Yarmouth, where it disturbed passers-by with requests for loose change for a cup of tea. Police warned it that it was committing an offence under the Vagrancy Act and told it to move along.

After squeezing itself through the English Channel, Iceland then reappeared in Torbay later this afternoon, asking people for money to phone its mum, and was beaten up by irate scousers for nicking their prime pitch. The RSPCA were then called to take the whale into protective custody.

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