Monday, 17 March 2008

The Wonderful World of Cheney

In a visit to Baghdad, US Vice-President Dick Cheney has hailed the invasion of Iraq in 2003 as a “successful endeavour”.

Speaking after handing a sealed envelope to Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki, Mr Cheney said: "I was last in Baghdad 10 months ago and I sense, as a result of the progress that has been made since then, phenomenal changes in terms of the overall situation.”

One change since Mr Cheney’s last visit has been the deployment of an extra 30,000 American troops, in the hope of arresting the country’s headlong descent into civil war. As yet unchanged, however, are the estimated four million displaced citizens; and the problems faced by half the population trying to get clean water or medical treatment have not improved phenomenally either. The Vice-President was also unable to change the Iraqi government’s continued reluctance to pass a law sharing the country’s oil revenues.

Nevertheless, he remained upbeat, declaring that America had always achieved total success in all its endeavours. “We brought Serbia and Kosovo together as friends and neighbours,” he said. “We won the Vietnam War. We gave economic stability and an open democratic system of government to the Russians. We have completely eliminated the spectre of AIDS from Africa. We put the first man on Mars. And I tell you, we have been totally successful in making Iraq into a veritable oasis of tranquility.”

Unfortunately at this point his triumphant speech was brought to a premature close by a loud bang, as another suicide bomber blasted herself, and dozens of innocent bystanders, to shreds.

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