Monday 10 March 2008

Listen Carefully, I Shall Knock This Only Once

The long-running French Resistance sitcom ‘Allo ‘Allo is to be aired in Germany for the first time, all 83 episodes having been bought by the ProSiebenSat1 channel.

The tediously repetitive catalogue of infantile double-entendres, silly accents and lame catchphrases - which the BBC inexplicably ran from 1982 to 1992, before audiences finally twigged that every hopeless episode featured the same feeble so-called ‘jokes’ in a slightly different order - will be dubbed into German. It is not clear, however, whether the Germans will also be able to replicate the irritating barrage of mad cackling hoots which accompanied every last damned episode.

A spokesman for the BBC said that the original canned laugh-track was made in the 1960s in a lunatic asylum, and that care in the community meant that it was now impossible to find so many insane, easily-pleased people together in one place - with the possible exception of parts of Somerset. Recording expeditions sent there in the early 90s had all been lost without trace, he added, probably due to the effects of the local scrumpy.

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