Friday 14 March 2008

Three Pints You're Out

A doctor is calling on the government to introduce on-the-spot fines for people who are drunk in public, even if they are not causing a nuisance.

Plastic surgeon Peter Mahaffey, who works in Bedford Hospital, made his demand in the British Medical Journal after seeing the results of drunken fights. He suggested that police officers should carry breathalysers and fine people who are three times over the drink-drive limit.

The government rejected the idea, saying that the police already had powers to deal with problem drinking.

Doctors, however, are demanding instant penalties for all drivers, rugby players, people who own cutlery and anyone else who might possibly end up one day in a casualty department, saying: “The morons, sorry, the public have got to realise that everything carries some level of risk. We in the medical profession say that all risk is unacceptable. People cannot be trusted to do anything. We will not rest until everyone is wrapped in cotton wool at birth, securely strapped to a bed under heavy sedation and fed through a drip for the rest of their lives. Only then will we see a significant reduction in accidental injuries.”

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