Little Hurtling Tube Of Death Production Temporarily Halted

Production of the Little Hurtling Tube Of Death will come to a temporary halt in January, a spokesman for Death Inc announced today, following the Federal Hurtling Authority's refusal to allow tubes of death to hurtle before 2020.

A Tube Of Death, Hurtling Earthward

"Safely returning the Little Hurtling Tube Of Death to service is our top priority," the death tube manufacturer said. "We know that the process of approving the Tube's return to service, and of determining appropriate training requirements, must be superficially thorough and robust, to ensure that our regulators, customers, and the hurtling public have confidence in the desperately rushed updates."

The Little Hurtling Tube Of Death, which was Death Inc's best-selling instrument of extirpation, has been involved in two fatal crashes that scored 346 deaths by hurtling, as well as all the other ones attributable to previous deadly Hurtling Tubes.

The Hurtling Authority explained that there were several tombstones to be passed before some 700 grounded Little Hurtling Tube Of Death could be returned to service.

"Never mind," said the Death Inc spokesman. "Our Great Big Hurtling Tubes Of Death and Long Range Hurtling Tubes Of Death are still shifting - both cash into our coffers, and souls into their coffins - and we still have full order books for our [Classified] [Classified] Of [Classified] Death."
"We're sure we'll survive," he added, "which is more than can be said by our end users."