Saturday, 23 June 2012

Perhaps Turkey Should Have Read NATO Treaty Before Signing, Suggests Assad: Rest Of NATO Nods Furiously

After blasting a one of their RF-4 Phantom jets from the skies, Syria has pre-empted any Turkish appeals for NATO intervention on the basis of mutual defence by suggesting that their neighbour takes a closer look at the Treaty of Washington.

The Russians swore they were tractor parts
“We looked it up on Wikipedia back in April, when Mr Erdo─čan raised the matter after we’d told some of our people off for leaving Syria without permission by bombing the shit out of them,” commented President Assad. “He is, up to a point, correct in stating that an attack on one NATO member is an attack on all. However, if he reads Article 5 properly he might notice that this bit only applies in Europe and North America. Now, is Turkey actually in the EU? Not the last time I looked.”

“Tough luck, sucker,” he added.

Other members of NATO were remarkably quick to verify Mr Assad’s explanation of the treaty - reminding Turkey that modern combat aircraft are really, really expensive, and unfortunately Syria is bristling with brand new and extremely effective anti-aircraft systems which the Russians kindly donated.

“Yes, we know,” replied Turkish PM Recep Tayyip Erdo─čan, as he reached for his reading glasses.

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