US Special Forces’ Tactical Manual Now Available As T-Shirt

US special forces carry their tactical manual with them at all times, in case they have trouble remembering the finer points

Following the unfortunate death of British hostage Linda Norgrove at the hands of the American forces who were supposed to be rescuing her, Pentagon sources have taken the unprecedented step of publishing in full their elite forces’ hitherto-classified tactical training document in the form of a 100% cotton t-shirt, to fit all sizes up to XXXL.

The sad demise of kidnapped aid worker Ms Norgrove, who appears to have been killed by a grenade thrown by one of her supposed rescuers, is covered by Part I of the machine-washable manual, which covers the assault doctrine of ‘KILL ‘EM ALL'. Part II, which contains detailed instructions for the mopping-up phase, advises troops to ‘Let God Sort ‘Em Out!’

Meanwhile, reports are emerging of a rift between the unit, who mounted the operation in a part of Afghanistan nominally under US control, and the British SAS advisors who accompanied them. MoD sources are privately saying that the SAS team would have been keen to implement their own expert tactics, claiming that the best chance for victory lay in openly daring Ms Norgrove’s captors to kill her if they were hard enough. They were, however, overruled by the US strike team, who instead placed their faith in small-unit tactics learned the hard way by their counterparts in Vietnam forty years ago.

“We had to destroy the hostage in order to save it,” confirmed a Pentagon source.