Holiday In South Africa (extended version)

(with apologies to the Dead Kennedys)

So you played the pools for a year or two
And you know you've seen it all
Flags on your car and a vuvuzela
Back home your type don't crawl

Show the world you’re a lout blastin’ James Corden’s ‘Shout’
From your 10-watt stereo
Braggin': “Fabio’s got the team for the goals
And we’ll win without Rio”

It's time to taste what you most fear
Rooney will not help you here
Brace yourself, my dear:

It's a holiday in South Africa
It's football, but we’re shite
It's a holiday in South Africa
Paint your fat face red and white.

You're a pot-bellied fan, you scream “In-gur-land!”
You want everyone to ‘respeck’ you
Kick ass while you drip at the cost of the strip
While the players get richer off you

Well you'll look stupid with a gun in your back
For causing an affray
Shout for a consul till you starve
Then your ass is served up on a plate

Now you can go where people are one
Now you can go to a mixed-race prison
What you need, my son:

Is a holiday in South Africa
Where the folks are mostly black
A holiday in South Africa
Where you’ve landed in the cack

Ing Lund, Ing Lund, Ing Lund, Ing Lund, [etc]

Ex-ten-ded holiday in South Africa
Where you'll do what you're told
A holiday in South Africa
Where you’ll look like an arsehole -
Inglund!

(Don’t forget to pre-order the unofficial follow-up hit - ‘I Fought The Boer’!)