Saturday 17 April 2010

New Daleks Recalled By Toyota For Safety Checks

Already reeling from a new wave of product-recall scandals, Japanese car giant Toyota tonight announced that it was suspending production of its brand new range of Daleks amid concerns that the lumbering, oversized monstrosities may topple over and hurt somebody.

The new Toyota Dalek had only just been revealed to the world, following months of secrecy, when a white-faced man with a clipboard rushed in and announced the latest tragic design defect.

Toyota's newly-appointed head of production Stephen Moffat, 9, told reporters: "This is a terrible embarrassment for Toyota. The Dalek is a much-loved script vehicle which has, up until now, remained largely unaltered since the sixties. When our new team took control of Toyota production, we adhered to the age-old maxim of 'If In Doubt - Fuck About' and set out to create a boldly modern - yet at the same time reassuringly traditional - reinterpretation of a classic design icon. The new Dalek offers 50% more interior space than the previous model, yet achieves improved gas mileage through the innovative replacement of metal bodywork by lightweight plastic mouldings."

"Unfortunately, however, our researchers have just uncovered an alarming tendency for the new Dalek to fall flat with a resounding thud," he concluded sheepishly.

Toyota executives say they are trying to recall the few production Daleks in existence, with a team of scientists working round the clock to develop a galaxy-wide recall notice which can travel throughout the entire fabric of the space-time continuum.

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