The Pope today confirmed that he plans to invade Britain later this year, accusing the government of discrimination over its refusal to let Catholics discriminate against gay adoptive parents.
The Popeblitz will strike Birmingham first, he vowed, having chosen the historically-significant date of September 16th - the day after his predecessor's attempt to visit Britain collapsed in 1940.
"Your pathetic little island is well-known for its firm commitment to equality of opportunity for all members of society," he lied to his legions of goose-stepping Fifth Columnists. "Yet, as you have rightly pointed out, the effect of some of the legislation designed to achieve this goal has been to impose unjust restrictions on the freedom of religious communities to act in accordance with their god-like dictator's belief that all the wicked sodomites should be rounded up and gassed."
"Unless, of course, they happen to be Catholic priests," he added. "In which case: least said, soonest mended."
In response to the Pope's declaration of Altartag, the National Secular Society has begun to distribute bum shelters to the population of Birmingham.
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