Saturday 19 December 2009

Desecration of Holocaust Site Considerably Less Newsworthy Than Predictably Inept English Reaction To Seasonal Weather

The appalling theft of the notorious 'Arbeit Macht Frei' sign over the gates of the Auschwitz concentration camp - possibly stolen to order for a sick neo-Nazi collector - went unnoticed in England, as people sat huddled around their televisions for warmth and shivered at unceasing reports of yet more trains, roads and airports descending into utter chaos at the first hint of winter.

"I went outside and crapped in my pants at the terrifying sight of a sprinkling of deadly snow on the garden," said banker Rob Blind from his sauna-like bedroom, where he lay huddled under three duvets. "So some ironmongery has been pinched in Poland. I reckon it was probably gypsies. What's so special about this Auschwitz place anyway?"

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