Friday, 6 February 2009

Royal Tour Hit By Ongoing Philip Outburst

Buckingham Palace has announced that a forthcoming royal tour has been cancelled, as a furious Prince Philip is still showing no sign of faltering in a prolonged racist rant which has been continuing without pause since the announcement that a royal souvenir shop was withdrawing its stock of golliwogs from sale.

“We can’t very well send the Queen and her consort abroad while he’s bellowing about ‘nig-nogs’ and ‘little black Sambos’,” admitted a red-faced palace spokesman. “Never mind a diplomatic incident - the way he’s going on, he could start a war.”

Meanwhile, the BBC is facing mounting criticism over its decision to remove Carol Thatcher from The One Show after she made a ‘golliwog’ remark in the show’s green room.

“What on earth is all this fuss about?” demanded one irate viewer, who happened to be white. “Whatever happened to the good old days, when golliwogs used to be the much-loved trademark of Robertson’s Jam? I was rather partial to a large dollop on one of Mr Hitler’s Exceedingly Patronising Wog Cakes.”

“And why can’t you get Botha’s Darkie Chocolate anywhere these days?“ he added. “It’s just political correctness gone mad, I tell you.”

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