Saturday 20 July 2013
Met Office Besieged By Angry, Sweaty Villagers
Terrified weather forecasters barricaded themselves inside
the Met Office’s Devon castle as the fickle population of the United Kingdom suddenly
turned against them after deciding that the weather they clamoured for daily for
two years isn’t really what they wanted after all.
“Oo arr,” explained furious raw-skinned Chantelle Swineherd,
as she impaled a rain gauge on her pitchfork.
“O bugger,” agreed sweat-drenched Kyle Silage, reversing his
tractor over an Audi in a reserved parking space.
As the heat from the supercomputers they get every year builds
up due to hurriedly-closed windows and ventilation pipes choked with irate peasants
trying to crawl in, the besieged meteorologists are expected to be roasted
alive in their beleaguered fortress at around 3pm.
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