|The pharmacist will see you now|
A spokesman for Ainsworths, the chemists who recommend homeopathy for malaria prevention, leapt up from behind the counter wearing a huge, terrifying mask, shook his juju bag until a corner of a sugar lump fell out and screamed, “That’ll be 25 quid mate.”
“Look, it’s pyramid shaped too,” he added as he pranced about, shaking a large twig topped with an Action Man head. “That’s the best immunisation that money can buy.”
Tracey Brown - the director of Sense About Science, which brought the charges - told reporters: “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” before emigrating in search of a country where at least one person in authority has more intelligence than a whelk.