The long-running pursuit of justice for their executed relative, Jean Charles de Menezes, has finally ended after the family were offered a splendidly-oversized sombrero by Metropolitan Commissioner Sir Kim Jong-Stephenson.
"A big straw hat may not seem like much by way of compensation for the state-sanctioned murder of an innocent electrician, or for the subsequent travesty of justice in which the trigger-happy incompetents who were responsible for his death got off scot-free," said Sir Kim. "But you have to remember that the standards of life are very different in Brazil, where these nuts come from. Most Brazilians live on a knife-edge of poverty and insecurity, under a remote, isolated government that has neither the resources or inclination to provide a decent safety net for those in need of support, preferring instead to line the pockets of a small wealthy clique."
"Actually, now I come to think of it, maybe the standards of life in Brazil aren't so very different after all," he mused. "Perhaps we could run to a nice, brightly-coloured poncho as well. I'll ask the lads for a whip-round."
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