A nondescript umbrella stand once owned by the late rag-trade queen Yves Saint-Laurent was sold for £134,000 to an anonymous, caring rich bastard who says he will be donating it to a deserving elephant amputee which he often hears rummaging through the bins in the service area of his exclusive residential block, hoping to find stale buns.
"Mon Dieu, my 'eart goes out to zat poor three-legged elephant," said the secret bidder. "I 'ave often thought of chucking 'eem a stale croissant from ze penthouse balcony after entertaining friends to one of my legendary banquets - mais, naturellement, a successful businessman like me 'as to ensure zat all of 'ees 'ouse'old waste ees safely compacted and shredded. For security reasons, bien sûr."
"Actuellement, zees particular item of 'allway furniture, she ees not a hollow elephant's foot as such - she is earthenware," laughed the buyer. "Mais zut alors! ze irony of an elephant trying to 'obble around wiz ze aid of ze umbrella stand! Comme c'est drôle, n'est-ce pas?"
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