Saatchi Gallery Offers £2m for Stormont Attack

Michael Stone - the former loyalist terrorist who has described his attempt to force his way into Ulster’s seat of government as “an act of performance art” - has been offered £2m by Charles Saatchi, who hopes the attack will form the centrepiece of the soon-to-be-reopened Saatchi Gallery in London.

 

“Mr Stone’s post-modern performance masterpiece - in which he symbolically tried to run past Stormont’s security guards, dressed like a tramp and carrying nail bombs, a pretend gun and a concealed sponge - speaks to us all at a deeply instinctive level,” said a straight-faced Mr Saatchi. “You can laugh at the shambolic, yet strangely visceral attempt to kill the Sinn Fein leadership, or you can laugh at his impressively self-referential, straw-clutching narrative in court. But you can’t ignore it.”

 

Mr Saatchi denied rumours that he was also preparing a bid for the Metropolitan Police’s famous public performance at Stockwell Tube Station, in which they symbolically executed harmless Brazilian electrician Jean Charles de Menezes in an ironic comment on the public’s perception of the thoroughly-outmoded concept of law enforcement.