You're all Spartacus. Now get stacking those shelves |
“Obviously, employers can’t be expected to replace their unskilled staff with free slave labour unless we give them a little encouragement,” explained Mr Clegg brightly. “Meanwhile, the young are gaining literally priceless experience of what it feels like to actually have a job, which will give them something to reminisce about in the empty years to come.”
“In a perfect world, of course, we’d gladly sack our entire workforce and give everyone unpaid work experience instead,” said Tesco CEO Philip Clarke. “Sadly, however, there will always be a few jobs that require an incredible amount of skill, which must naturally be rewarded with a generous payscale. Mine, for example.”
“Although if the government were to lob, say, a billion into my pocket,” he added, “I’d gladly work for nothing for eight weeks, too.”