Noddy and Big-Ears Narrowly Escape Toyland Lynching

How dare they

Lovable brownie Big-Ears and his friend, Noddy, had a narrow escape yesterday evening, when naughty goblins Sly and Gobbo launched a vicious attack on their lovely car as they drove innocently through Toyland on their way to see a performance by the Clockwork Clown.

Sly and Gobbo had been running amok through Toyland after Mr Plod steadfastly refused to let them anywhere near the big house belonging to the conniving Bunkey and his friend Mr Wobbly Man, who want all the goblins to pay them an awful lot of money to go to Miss Prim’s little school.

After Mr Plod chased the angry goblin duo away from the house by hitting them with his riot whistle, Sly naughtily painted a very rude word on the side of Jumbo’s statue while, not to be outdone, Gobbo went one stage further and did a wee-wee on it.

But it was the ferocity of the goblins' unprovoked assault on poor Noddy and Big-Ears as they sat terrified in their lovely red and yellow car, frantically parp-parping the horn to attract Mr Plod’s attention, which has lost them the sympathy of decent, hard-working toys throughout Toyland.

Art history, the pair of them

“What have Sly and Gobbo got against poor old Noddy and Big-Ears?” frowned Noddy’s puzzled next-door neighbour, Mr Tubby Bear. “I could understand them having a go at that bone-idle brother of his, Little-Ears, who has a potty mouth, shows no respect for Mr Plod and hands out water pistols to all the bad toys - but Big-Ears’ Trust actually helps lots of struggling new toys to start their own little businesses.”

“Poor old Mr Plod’s been puffing to and fro on his bicycle all day long, looking to give them both a stern telling-off,” pointed out his wife, Mrs Tubby Bear. “Well, he can lock them up in his cells and throw away the key for all I care. Putting Noddy’s little car back together again is certainly going to pose a bit of a challenge for Mr Sparks the handyman.”

Just then, however, the papers were delivered, and poor Mrs Tubby Bear promptly fainted with dismay at front-page pictures of her son, Master Tubby Bear, disgracefully clambering all over the toy soldiers’ shiny monument and burning down the town square’s lovely Christmas tree.

Later, Mr Wobbly Man and Bunkey appeared on Toyland TV, with Mr Wobbly Man desperately trying to explain to all the toys how, thanks to his new best friend Bunkey, he no longer had any problems with lying.

A smiling Bunkey then assured law-abiding toys that he would be asking Mr Plod why he had failed to hit Sly and Gobbo hard enough. “Lessons will be learned,” he promised, “If you pay Miss Prim the new bargain rate of £9000 a year.”