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| Why not try this at home? |
“We apologise to the people of Great Britain for our presumption,” said spokesman Mohammad Yousuf Munir of the Shabab-e-Milli group, “After all, he’s your problem first and foremost. But you could make your feelings known, you know, if you only got up off your backsides and made the effort.”
“Here in Pakistan we simply can’t fathom why you sit idly by and let this patronising creep tear apart your health system, sack you in droves, throw the remnants of your steel industry to the wolves, take a hatchet to your public services, hike prices with a 2½% VAT increase, launch a vicious attack on your economic victims, your sick and your disabled and shatter your cherished dreams of retirement, yet casually allow the robbers who bankrupted your country to wriggle off the hook and commit you all to spending what you can’t afford on pointless nuclear weapons for the next 20 years,” explained Mr Munir. “I mean, all he’s done to upset us is to make some mild observations on our government’s relaxed attitude to radical Islamic fundamentalists like us.”
“Compared to what you’re going through it was hardly worth getting out of bed for, really,” he added, “But we felt you deserved to see how it’s done, as it seems to have somehow slipped your minds completely.”
2 comments:
Bravo Nev. Unbiased reporting of the first order. I sense a job at the BBC can't be far away... Just remember to keep Mr Munir's details handy for the next time you need to sex-up some non-story with rent-a-mob footage
I think he may also have been behind NASA's recent decision to release some non-newsworthy trivia about a faulty aircon that can only possibly be of interest to the mere one-billionth of the world's population who inhabit outer space.
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