Three American 'tourists' went missing on Thursday after embarking on a 'hiking trip' along the border between Iran and Iraq, according to reports emerging today. The 'holidaymakers' were apparently 'sightseeing' in the autonomous Kurdistan territory in Northern Iraq, one of the world's most popular holiday destinations.
"Four Americans arrived in the city of Sulaimaniya on Wednesday for a walking vacation," said police colonel Anwar Haj Omar. "One of them 'fell ill' straight away and stayed behind, but the other three insisted on setting off immediately to stroll 90km to the beautiful waterfalls at the much-frequented resort of Ahmed Awa, just three kilometres from the Iranian border."
"They didn't take an interpreter with them, as one of them happened to speak Arabic," he added. "Apparently it's a popular second language, widely studied in the United States."
Iran's state-owned Al-Alam television station later announced that the three 'backpackers' had been arrested after crossing the border, making the patently ridiculous claim that they were undercover military personnel.
"We told them not to venture into the mountains, because of the proximity of the border, "sighed Col Haj Omar. "I suppose they just didn't notice that they were walking uphill for hours."
"The vacationing American who fell ill has checked out," the manager of the hotel where he was staying told reporters. "After he called the US embassy to explain that his friends had phoned to tell him they were in Iran under arrest, some large American gentlemen with cropped hair arrived and took him away, saying they knew of a local pharmacy store offering an unbeatable deal on paracetamol caplets."
"The four tourists seemed like nice people," he added, "Although my staff tell me their conversation was rather limited. Tell me, what does 'check' mean? They said it quite a lot, but we just assumed they were talking about how to settle their minibar bill."
When US reporters asked the Pentagon to confirm that it would never authorise covert missions in foreign territories, a senior official replied: "Check."
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